2000-09-08 - 02:20:26
(Man, has it really been a WEEK since my last entry? Yikes! I apologize to all the people I need to e-mail too--obviously I haven't been online much these past few weeks...I'll get back to you all tomorrow. Thanks for your patience! :) Also forgive the shortness of this entry...I'm getting over another bout of melancholy, but I figure my first entry back in a while ought to be kind of amusing...
60 THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
1. Braile at DRIVE-UP ATMs
2. How corn can still give you calories when you poo it all out anyway
3. Underwear
4. The appeal of Bill Clinton
5. Why I just got nailed with a $200 July electric bill for my 700 square foot apartment while my parents in Connecticut live in a 2500 square foot house with 2 air conditioners running constantly only had to pay $180
6. Rap
7. Disney's live action films
8. Disney's direct-to-video cartoons
9. Mimes
10. Clowns
11. Midgets
12. Midget clowns miming Disney live action films
13. Country music
14. Why it's taking my company over two months to get DSL service
15. Sometimes when you strain for 3 hours while pooing and when you finally let it out, there's nothing in the toilet...where'd it go?
16. Excessive piercings
17. Nose hair
18. How you can eat a pound of ice cream and gain five
19. Why someone felt the need to attack my integrity because I wrote a funny little joke to play on telemarketers...if you're reading this, this (_I_) is my ass...feel free to kiss it
20. My life
21. My lack of life
22. My mind
23. The universe...and how it can be infinite, but not
24. Death
25. Martha Stewart
26. How we can send a space craft to Mars, but still have cars that get under 20 miles to the gallon
27. Why nobody uses the constant waves of the ocean to make electricity
28. Why the price of stocks for GOOD solid companies goes down
29. Hemmorhoids
30. Garfield
31. My ex-girlfriend
32. Why Michelle loves me
33. Why everything that tastes good is bad for you...that's evolutionarily counter-productive. Maybe that's even proof of the existence of God...
34. Why I'm 100% certain there's a cure for cancer, and probably AIDS out there and yet doctors are willing to cover it up
35. Howard the Duck
36. Jar Jar
37. The appeal of football
38. Why all carnies look like inbred trailer trash
39. Why anyone would WANT to be a carny
40. Why if crime is SOOOOO bad, are there cops on the freeways busting people for going 70 in a 65 MPH zone
41. Cults
42. Religions
43. That includes "pagan" religions such a Wicca and the like
44. Why people get offended so easily
45. Moreso with religious people
46. What would possess someone to hurt another person
47. The insanity plea...OBVIOUSLY, sane people don't go around hacking other people to pieces...An insane murderer is a redundant term
48. Defense lawyers who spend their lives trying to keep people like that OUT of jail
49. The bullshit that is "cruel and unusual." I say an eye for an eye. You drag someone to death behind your truck, we chain your sick ass to a truck and drag you to your death. Cruel and unusual my ass
50. The ACLU (side story--a boy was given a ride by his close neighbor and subsequently molested...the man was a member of a group called something like "Men who love little boys" or some sick ass shit like that. Naturally, people were in an uproar about that group, but the ACLU is strongly defending them...while at the same time condemning the writings of someone who influenced some murderer...The ACLU is a piece of shit organization...IMHO of course)
51. Why contact lens solution costs $7 a bottle when it's little more than salt water
52. Just about every aspect of government and politics...oh, I understand the concepts fine, it's the implementation I don't get.
53. Why America feels the need to have this STUPID (is that too harsh a term? Let me try MORONIC, IDIOTIC or LUDICROUS) party system in government
54. Why there's not much fuss made about the Gay Pride parades any more, but if I held a Damn Straight parade, I'd probably get lynched
55. How Disneyland can claim to be for ALL children when it costs like $40 a kid to get in
56. Why anyone with half a brain would spend thousands of dollars on clothes
57. Players
58. 9 to 5 life
59. Boy groups
60. Why tornadoes always zero in on trailer parks
